Word Around The Camp Fire
Native American Comedy Podcast - Talking about Native American Daily life and struggles while having fun and making fun of being Native
Word Around The Camp Fire
JC Penny Aids - You Member
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Shells and I are back with some answers to some questions and some random thoughts.. and remembering Sunday JC Penny Aids. Member them? You member them, we know you do. This is a good one as we journey through our minds and thoughts. Share, like, follow, stream, download and subscribe.
I remember when I entered out I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Hold on. It was all wrinkly. God damn. I think a man it's all wrinkly.
SPEAKER_03Four skin slaps back.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, man. And then uh I took my hand out of the pool and it was all wrinkly. That's what I'm talking about. It got all wet.
SPEAKER_01Why is the ball wet? Why is the ball wet?
SPEAKER_00I was trying to save the football.
SPEAKER_01What is up, ladies and gentlemen?
SPEAKER_00We want to welcome you guys to the podcast. We are live, man. We're around the campfire. Me and Shells were just um I don't think you push record, bro. Man, yeah, we were just uh looking at each other's uh foreskins. Yeah, see um if if it's a hood. Damn.
SPEAKER_01Damn. Oh, that's um rank shit, man.
SPEAKER_03You think when you get older and you have sex, you think your foreskin slaps back?
SPEAKER_00Like slaps back at you? Like a rubber band? Yeah, like a rubber. I think so, man. I don't know, man. It's been it's been a while, so I think that's why younger girls give a rubber band. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01Oh damn, man, that is oh man, that is freaking that that's that's too funny, man.
SPEAKER_00That goes into our first topic, man. But it's been a while, man. It's been a while since we uh since we recorded a podcast, man. We want to welcome each and every one of you guys, man. I'm Mike Bitto. We got shells in the building. What's up, everybody?
SPEAKER_03Welcome back to the campfire.
SPEAKER_00Welcome back to the campfire. It kind of died out there for a little bit. Um, so you guys, fire chiefs out there, man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, just the fucking ashes in the fucking fire.
SPEAKER_00Ashes in the fire, man. Some of you guys uh showed up and peed on the fire.
SPEAKER_03Hey, showed up with grandpa, man.
SPEAKER_00Showed up with grandpa, man, and you guys are supposed to be fire chiefs, man. What's up with Cody Day is watching Red Hogan.
SPEAKER_01Oh damn, man. That is too oh shit, that is too funny, man. But uh, trying to steal our campfire, eh, fucker, and doesn't slap back, I just hear rubber band status.
SPEAKER_03Damn.
SPEAKER_01So this is just a random question, man.
SPEAKER_00So I got a I got asked this. Axe. Hey, I got axed this one time, man. Um, just uh when guys pee, man, like um, do you um how to how do you usually pee, man? Are you like uh an eater, just let it uh let the foreskin hang and then let it drip, or are you freaking super soaker where you pull it back and when the tank's really gonna let it go, bro? Oh man, are you like a water wiggle, man? Like a garden nose, bro.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to touch it. I don't want to touch it. Why is it so wrinkly? Oh so it's too dirty. It's too wrinkly, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So uh went to Arizona and be a boy again. Arizona and be a boy again, man. So so you just let it uh water hose?
SPEAKER_03Just fucking let it roll, bro. Let it roll, bro. Yeah, just let it roll.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think I think I have to um it for me, man. It is the it depends. Pull back if I pull it back and then it feels good, then I just keep uh playing with the foreskin.
SPEAKER_03May the foreskin be with you.
SPEAKER_01May the foreskin be with you, yeah. Oh shit, man. We fucking yeah, we missed you guys too.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, damn, man.
SPEAKER_03Hey, don't let your kids listen to this.
SPEAKER_00Man, don't don't let you, yeah. This is this is not uh explicit version. This is the explicit version, man. We've been gone for too long, man. Too long, man. But uh uh Matt, how you been, bro?
SPEAKER_03Man, dude, I'm gonna be good, bro. Yeah, you're gonna be. Happy Matters, Arizona, though. Oh man, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Michelle's out of Arizona, man. He's back in the Mexico. He wants to be Pinocchio in Arizona, man.
unknownPinocchio, we got to be a good one.
SPEAKER_01It's a phone.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, dude. But but along that line of uh okay, so do we answer the question?
SPEAKER_03Oh no, we didn't okay question.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so so uh we got a question in uh uh about peeing, I guess you could say, of like I said, you know, are you just uh water willy? Just let it spray all over the place, or do you control soaker, bro? Yeah, fuck it. If you guys don't know what we're talking about, super soaker is uh yeah, you know how super soakers you pump it, yeah. How you gotta pump it? Pump it until it comes out you just pull it back and pee, yeah. Head it all exposed. Oh shit, that way fucking zero to a hundred real quick. All right, I'm a water hose, man. There's some there's some days, man, where where I'm just like um, yeah, man, I I go shy guy and just uh stand over the bowl and let it pee. Right pee? Right? Just sinkle, sinkle. Just let me watch you.
SPEAKER_03So when you went to the restroom, has a guy ever like stood right beside you, even though there was like um three other stalls? Yeah, dude, yeah, man. And you're like, what the fuck, bro?
SPEAKER_00Let's go over wheels, man. And then they like talk to you, and then you you kind of insecure, like your your uh what do you call it, man? They're they're looking at your junk, and then you you move in more, yeah, and then you get too close to it. You fucking touch your urinal, and then you're like, fuck, man. Like, I think I got some right now, man. And then you get all insecure, and then as soon as you get home, you wash it, and then she thinks, you know, why why is he taking a shower? Was he cheating on me? He's taking the shower. Uh-huh. Let me smell it, man. Might as well, dude. Let me smell you dick. Then afterwards, like, oh, it smells good, don't it? You probably washed it. Oh my god, dude, bro, there's a couple of times that I've done that, man, where I've been like at the fucking urinal and I got a little um got a little shy, guy, and moved in a little closer, and my pee pee touched uh, you know. It's like damn, man. So that's why I sit down when I peeped.
SPEAKER_03But worse than a prostitute. Oh shit, man.
SPEAKER_00And it happened in Mexico.
SPEAKER_03Worst place to get a fucking happened in Vegas.
SPEAKER_00It happened in Vegas, man. So I touch everybody that night.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. Damn.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, man, if it comes to it, man, I have to sit down. I just I just have to sit down, man.
SPEAKER_03Damn.
SPEAKER_00You know, um, how how long did your sit-down game when you when you use the restroom, man?
SPEAKER_03Bro, I just I just take a shit, bro. Just take a shit and get out of there.
SPEAKER_00Like you don't you don't relax.
SPEAKER_03Like, dude, the funny thing is, bro, on a job site, bro, the best shit I took was in a porta potty, bro.
SPEAKER_00In a porta potty? Oh, damn.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like I don't know, it's weird. Like I can't take that shit no more. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like you like, like what do you mean?
SPEAKER_03Like you just um like you know, like you went to the restroom, and then like, dude, I took a nice shit, nobody bothered me, and like just left you alone.
SPEAKER_00Nice and quiet, bro, and man, those those morning dumps, man, are freaking morning the when you first wake up and after a good night's rest, and then you get into the restroom and just freaking pee or fucking just drop a deuce, man. That's just like man, it's it's uh it's secretly. Like, creator, thank you for this awesome time that I have here in this man-made outhouse that I'm able to flush my shit down to toilet. Thank you, creator, for this weird cloth that I get to wipe my ass with and uh put it down to train. Damn. Joe Tahoone comes on the back of the room. Joe Jahoney comes on, yeah. Start singing the early morning mountain song. Yeah, damn, man. Oh, man. But I don't I don't know if I don't know if ladies get that sensation too, as well, man, of of like like just freaking.
SPEAKER_03I mean, they're probably in by themselves when they're by themselves, bro.
SPEAKER_00Man, so um when it comes to that, man, are you um are you uh do you uh like do you is your lady comfortable with taking a donke in front of you? I don't know, bro. Like if you're in there, if you're in there brushing your teeth and she's freaking just dropping a deuce. Bro, I'll be like, what the fuck? You see a fucker brushing my teeth? God damn. She just comes in and drops it. Be like, bro, brushing your teeth the next thing, you just hear dude.
SPEAKER_03I think I think I I go to the fucking kitchen sink, bro. Damn, that's right. Next bathroom.
SPEAKER_00Next bathroom, yeah. All right, all right. You guys out there, man. Couples, are you guys are you guys comfortable taking dumps in front of each other? Like, like if um, you know, if somebody's showering, or or have have you ever been showering and then somebody comes in, drops a deuce, or uses the restroom or anything like that?
SPEAKER_03Bro, I think that's my favorite thing to do, bro. Just to go in there and fucking stick in the front. Oh, it's all CB yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh man, bro. Damn, don't flush it. Don't flush it, just walk out. Don't flush it, walk out.
SPEAKER_03Just leave open, leave open the seat, too.
SPEAKER_00Leave open the seat and then uh on the mirror, but uh right. I love you for the heart. Good morning, baby.
SPEAKER_01Oh, damn. That that's that's that's real love, man.
SPEAKER_00That is real love right there, man.
SPEAKER_02Especially that morning shit.
SPEAKER_00That morning shit, man. Guys, if your lady is if your lady is uh fucking she's she's down like that, man. You got a real one, man.
SPEAKER_03You know, like I think the best thing to do is like when they you know they lock the doors and shit. Yeah, yeah. And then like when they're taking too fucking long, bro, you just go in there, take a morning shit, yeah, and lock the door back down. Damn, man. And if they have a fan on, you turn off the fucking fan.
SPEAKER_00Oh shit, man. Dude, the the um I'm I'm really insecure about there's there's a couple of times like uh that that I've I've been in a hotel and uh it doesn't have a fan in the restroom. And I'm just like, damn, like I don't want to take a shit. Like, you know, I don't wanna freaking stink it up, man. You know, especially if you're if if you're with your your partner, your spouse or whatever. You're going downstairs. I left something in the car. I gotta go to the weight room.
SPEAKER_04You're gonna work out. You're gonna work out.
SPEAKER_00Um my doctor said I gotta start walking out to the out to uh get a heart attack. Um I think I left the the other room key in in the car. So I'm gonna go downstairs. I'm gonna go downstairs and get it, babe. Hey, again. Now that's too crazy, man. But um, how how long did it take, I guess you could say, for you to be comfortable to do that? Damn, bro.
SPEAKER_03I'm still not comfortable. You're still not comfortable?
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay, man. That's understandable, man. Heck yeah. I don't I don't think you would ever, not unless you're like you've been married for like fucking 50 years. I mean, it's it's different from back in the day, yeah. You know, well, I guess you could say back in the day, you go to the outhouse and fucking shit, so you didn't you didn't have anybody in there with you. You know what?
SPEAKER_03My favorite, my fucking scariest thing about outhouses, bro, was black widows.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, yeah. Oh, black widows are freaking, man, you'll be sitting there just freaking dropping a deuce and everything. My favorite, oh man, this is okay. So uh I don't know why. I don't know why it's it's uh I don't know. Some people might say it's a fetish.
SPEAKER_03Damn, but I love the smell of houses.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love the smell of outhouses. I just I I love I love looking at that fly trap in there, you know, and just like counting all the flies that are caught on it. The the JC Penney adjustments, it was always on the bra section. Did you ever did you ever consider that like being porn back in our days? I think it was, bro.
SPEAKER_01Like, like the JC out little freaking bird boys looking at the the the bra section and JC Penney ad.
SPEAKER_00Uncle Johnny's like, open the door! Uncle Johnny's like, hurry up, we're taking a long time. Don't mess up my magazine in there. I'm trying to order a JC Penny hoodie. Oh dude, I remember no no lie, bro. I remember that, man. Over at my over in Red Valley, my little brother's uh place out there, man. Like uh there was always there was always the the on Sunday, man. The newspaper would be in there and fucking everything would be in there, the advertisements, and then man, for real, man, that was like low-key porn, man. Those Jason P ads, man, those lingerie ads, man. Perp little boys, freaking perp little boys, man. Taking forever in outhouse, man. For no reason, for no reason, man. Uncle Johnny's waiting outside, man, patiently, yeah. Smoking a cigarette cigarette, man, because he knows what's going on, because you know what he's gonna do, too, man. Hey Damn, Zenny out there with his West Hightower shirt, man. Oh man, that's crazy, man. Oh, but but my favorite part, man, like like I'm not even gonna lie, man, is during uh the summer when just right when you wake up in the morning, and like I said, you know, I spent a lot of time out in Red Valley. We had then an outhouse over there, and and the favorite part was going out there early in the morning and just sitting down on on the on the what do you call it on the toilet seat, and then you're you know, doing your business, and then just that little fresh morning air comes up, freaking tickles your butthole, man, and your tickles your nuts, you know. And then you're just like oh man, I just feel alive. What was that smell? Oh, is that smell? And then you see your freaking skinwalker rock. Yeah, man. You're like, Oh Johnny, is that you in it?
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. That was fucking crazy.
SPEAKER_00That's that's a good way to start off the podcast, man. It's just freaking going into it like that, bro. It's it's too crazy, man. But we got we got some emails in of people, you know, just just missing the the mic and shells, you know, of the podcast.
SPEAKER_03So so um black African Americans, they can't say, Oh, I hate it when the water touches my penis. Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00They don't have that problem. Not unless the it's all filled up, man.
SPEAKER_03Your shit's touching shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, man, there's just touching shit right there, man. Dang, man. Man, let's see them try that there house, man. Go to a res out house. Fuck around and find out. Yeah, fuck around, find out, man. See how big it is there, man. Try to put me to shame, man. Shit, man. Because mine's all shy guy and everything, man. You're just freaking all dangling out there, man. Like an elephant trunk to me. I mean, not that I've seen one, I've just heard, you know.
SPEAKER_01Oh, dang, man.
SPEAKER_02Shout out JC Pennys.
SPEAKER_01Shout out JC PDS, man. The scorch section and the broad lingerie and panty section, man. But no joke, dude.
SPEAKER_00That was fucking some low-key porn, man. Like, and guys, man, you guys cannot deny that. You guys cannot deny that you guys looked at that and thought about freaking blasting it off, man. Freaking super soaking in it, man. You guys cannot say that you guys didn't do that, man. Or, you know, even thought about it, you know?
SPEAKER_03Oh, listening to Tupac.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, listening to Tupac, man. Freaking all eyes on me, man. Listen to dear mama. Oh damn California love California love, man. Freaking two of America's most wanted, right there, man. Amissions of a writer, man. I can just hear you now, house. Ain't nothing but against a party. Party.
SPEAKER_01All you hear is all you hears.
SPEAKER_00I dude, if you guys could see how I tried to make that sound effect, it was fucking crazy. I was all real close to the microphone. Yeah, I could have just did that, but I stuck my fucking finger in my mouth and I was moving it back and forth trying to make that sound, and here Shaw just expert. Fucking went expert mode, man. This is the reason why we need to go live when we record the podcast. What a fucking idiot! I literally had my finger in my mouth, like making like I was brushing my teeth trying to make that that squishy. Yep, that sound right there, man. I was all doing it real hard, too. I think I hurt my gums.
SPEAKER_01Oh man.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why I pictured that, bro.
SPEAKER_03Oh man. Eight-year-old guy in the fucking in the outhouse, bro. Dude, man, for real.
SPEAKER_00Ain't nobody but gangster. Ain't nothing but buttons. Uncle Johnny. Yeah, Uncle Johnny. Hurry up! Better leave that JC Penny advertisement in there. Okay, headphones on. Yeah, headphones on. Don't even listen to me. You can't even hear me. Just freaking flipping through the ad and everything.
SPEAKER_02All eyes on me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, all you hear is all eyes on me. Dear mama. I finally understand. Trying to raise a man.
SPEAKER_01When it comes to that, dude, when did you think that you were a man?
SPEAKER_00When did you think you were a man? Like when did you think you hit puberty? Damn. Um when I first saw the pubes. When you first saw the pubes? Damn. I don't think I fucking even though you're gonna be able to. I was like, what the fuck? Hey, dang, did you get scared? Yeah, bro. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. What about the first time you got um a chub? Damn, first freak out, dude. I freaked out. I was like, what the fuck? Dang, and were you like uh what do I do? What do I do? I think I think the first time, I I I got a chub, man. I freaked out too because I was just like, I was like, why is it not going down? I was trying to push it down. Helicoptering it. Helicoptering down. This is how we do it. I kept pushing it down. It's like boy, boy, I kept pushing down. It's like pushing it down, and then I don't know. I just I just liked it.
SPEAKER_03Can't touch it, dude.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, can't touch it, dude.
SPEAKER_00I was just sitting on the floor and squitting back and forth, man, trying to try to make it go down, man. Uh in Sunday school. Sunday school, man. We can stand there all bonered out, man. Singing Jesus loves me. So, okay, so all guys go through this, man, during puberty. When you get your first erection boner, whatever you want to call it, man. Like, you know, like it could it could come from a thought, it could come from seeing something. Like, dude, when you were at school and and when you had the ability to become erect, hey, like what did you did you get embarrassed, like try to hide it, or just walking around all prideful, walking around with the little chups? Oh dude, trying to hide it, bro. Try to hide it, yeah. That's how I was too, man. Cause I was just like, I was like, what the heck, man? Freaking, like, you know, I'm I don't want to be pervert. I'm not trying to let Stephanie see. Hey fucking Stephanie, man, fucking mace, man. Freaking damn, man. Still mad. Still mad, man. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01She's like, what's that right there?
SPEAKER_00You're gonna find out. You're gonna find out, man. I was trying to I was trying to sing mace to you, but you didn't want it, eh? So
SPEAKER_03You know what, I just put the mic in my pocket.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I had the mic still in my pocket. I took the mic home with me. Oh shit. But for real, man. Like I I was like embarrassed, man. Like I was putting my backpack in front. I wonder if it um ladies, man. When you guys got to that point of puberty or whatever, like what was what did you guys think? Like, oh, changing woman. Changing woman stories. Can I go to the yard? Something's happening.
SPEAKER_01I think I cut myself. I think I cut myself. I think I cut myself. Oh damn, man. Holy cow, man. I was just kidding. Just kidding. All right. He's just kidding. Damn.
SPEAKER_03Just kidding. Just kidding. Calm down.
SPEAKER_01Shots fired again.
SPEAKER_00Burm, burp burn, burp, burn. Damn.
SPEAKER_03I was joking.
SPEAKER_00It was really joking. It's good to have you back, bro. Kind of took a little break there. Shells was getting things situated with work too as well. But we are back on track, man. It's been a good time, man. Just been updating people on what's been going on with the album. Again, Shell's got a new song coming out with QLA Reservation Made. So looking forward to that, man. And May 1st, you guys can uh officially pre-save and pre-order acoustic heartbreaks. If you guys haven't, um go to uh hxtps colon backslash backslash micless.hearnow.com to listen to the whole album if you guys want to. Um it's freaking amazing, man. The feedback that I've been getting from it is cool, man. But we're not here to talk about that. I'm not here to talk about that because uh that was uh freaking old. That's old, man. But uh man, yeah, it's it's it's been it's been uh it's been a fun week, man. Every everybody's been been been excited for us to record another podcast, uh, to have shells back on again. We did get some questions and just to tippy toe around uh you know, growing up, our bodies changing and just uh getting familiar with ourselves. Hey, yeah. Uh one of the questions that we got in, man, is childhood lies. What weird things do you believe still today that's fucking Santa Claus is real? Santa Claus is real, man. I two fairies, two fairies, you think so? Um, mine's is that um babies come from um Easter eggs. Damn. My Easter eggs. Not my Easter egg. I mean, I know babies come from eggs, but you know, I just say Easter bunny. My Easter eggs. My Easter egg, man. You put my eggs in your basket. Come here, girl.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, the macho man's gonna put his eggs in your basket. He's gonna get the golden egg. Oh yeah. Oh man.
SPEAKER_00But but how how old were you when you kind of stopped believing in all that, man? Like Santa Claus. You still believe in it? Just to get the extra gift, man. Just to get that extra gift. There you go, man. So Santa Claus, if you're out there, man, Shell's been naughty and nice. Oh damn. More so naughty. Ew. Shell's walking around saying, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, man. With the chub. Yeah, with the chub, man, has uh kiss the mistletoe shorts on. Damn. Oh, excuse me. But I think um, man, it's been a while since I did that macho man voice. It got to me. Um but mine's, I think, uh, the one that I believed in the most, man, was fucking the Too Fairy, bro. Damn, Two Fairy? Yeah, just because it was, you know, got money, always got like five bucks and stuff, and and uh use that to freaking shoot. I think I was I think all the way until I was like 21. Pulling out your teeth pulling out my teeth, and they're like, what the fuck? That's not your baby teeth anymore. God damn. All the way until you're 21. But hey, dude, there's um there's this TV show though called My Weird Obsessions that do stuff like that. Like there's yeah, there's these guys that um pretend like they're babies and they have their wives or their girlfriends take care of them like they're babies, like changing their diaper, um playing with them, and just stuff like that, bro. Like it's freaking weird, man. I don't think I don't think I could do that, man. Like freaking be obsessed with something like that, man. Not unless it's uh uh your feet about my feet. Oh shit, man. That's freaking funny, man. But but that was one of the questions that we got in, man. So yours is still um Santa Claus? Santa Claus. There you go, man. And then uh along those lines, man, too as well, is uh childhood movies. What was your favorite childhood movie as a kid, man? Like cartoon or uh just I guess just anything, man, any kind of movie. Uh probably Sandlock. Sandlot, yeah. Sandlock, man, that's uh that's a classic, man. I think um Mines was probably two. Uh it would have to be Breaking, Breaking Two, Electric Boogaloo, and then Rad. I think I think those are my all-time favorite childhood movies, man. Was that um, and I'm kind of shameful to say this, but I don't know if have you ever watched Savannah Smiles? Yeah, dude, I don't know why I was a I was uh I was a wuss, I was a pussy when it came to that movie, but I cried every time I watched that movie, bro, and then I was like, man, like man, you a bitch, bitch. I I re-watched that a a couple of weeks ago, bro, and it was like I was like, man, I can't believe I cried to this movie every time I watched it. Savannah Smiles. If you guys ever watched Savannah Smiles, you guys know, man. You guys know the movie, but yeah, man, uh breaking, breaking two, electric boogaloo. Um, as I've always said, you know, I always dabbled in trying, you know, break dancing and stuff, so those are my favorite movies. Um, and then Rad, man, you know, just just trying to be a BMXer. Uh freaking Rad was probably one of the best movies ever, man. Was was just that, man. But and yours was just Sanlot? Yeah, Sandlot, bro.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Lion King, bro.
SPEAKER_00Lion King, oh man, man. You like to see sex in the air. Yeah, yeah, bro.
SPEAKER_03Sex in the air.
SPEAKER_00Sex in the air, man. Oh man, well, for Sanlot, was it because of Wendy Peppercorn?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Wendy Peppercorn, yeah. Yeah, Wendy Peppercorn. Just because she was wearing that uh Sumsu.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the bikini one, oh not the bikini one, but she was wearing the uh the lifeguard one, huh? Dude, oh so this week I I was kind of in uh in an old school like Kanye phase, man. You know, listening to um listening to some of his old albums, you know, back in the day, Kanye, because I missed the old Kanye. I want the old Kanye, you know, and one of my all-time favorite songs is All Falls Down, man. Oh, yeah, that's a good song. Yeah, yeah. And I so I was watching the music video this week, dude, and I fell back in love with Stacy Dash, bro. Holy cow, man, freaking Stacy Dash. And then YouTube is fucking witchcraft. So they they they get your algorithm, and on YouTube Shorts, uh Stacy Dash has has like YouTube shorts too of her like uh now, dude. She's still a fucking baddie, bro. Like, holy cow, man. Like I didn't notice her and clueless. Yeah, I thought she was annoying. Yeah, she was in clueless, man. She was in clueless. I I found her annoying and clueless, but I think that was just because that was her movie role. But you know, when she started growing up and she was in music videos, and now I'm just like, holy shit, like man. Send me back. Man, I was just like, oh, um, what's up?
SPEAKER_03So I can go back to the porta parties.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was like, please be in the ads, like please be in the butt man, Stacy Dash, man. Holy cow, man. She freaking, yup, man. She's a freaking oh man. Her and Ashanti, man, like I said, man, it's it's freaking, yeah, yeah. They they age well, man. They age well, bro.
SPEAKER_03Um, oh, okay, I know what you're talking about now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03The one was with the ball guy, yeah.
SPEAKER_00With the ball guy, man. Yup, yep, yeah, yep, yep. That's Stacy Dash, man. Okay, freaking, but yeah, man, that I was I was stuck on Kanye this week this week, man, and just listening to his his his old stuff. And then also, like I said, man, my all-time favorite, my all-time favorite song by Kanye is All Fall Down. All Falls Down, man. And uh, she's in that music video, and she's freaking, holy cow, man. Yeah, you gotta watch that today. Yeah, man, there you go. Just before you go to sleep. Before you go to sleep, man. But yeah, man, that was my that was my childhood movies, man. Was that was Breaking, Breaking Two, and then Rad. And then as a as a little kid before preteen, was uh yeah, that Savannah Smiles, man. Freaking always cried on it, man. I don't know why, man. I'm like freaking dumb, man. Damn, it's like a bitch, bitch. And then I guess going along that line, too, as well, uh, they ask, soul food, what's your comfort food? Like, like if you're having a bad day or you just craving something, like what's your what's your what's your comfort food? What's your soul food? Dude, some fucking pulled pork. Oh, pull pork. Oh, pull pork and some fucking cream corn, bro. Man, if you guys don't know, man, shells is a fucking master. Um, what do you call it? Um, not barbecue smoker. He's a master smoker. Like his fucking ribs, his brisket, and his cream corn is amazing, man. His cream is amazing. Damn, his cream is tasty. It's weird, bro.
SPEAKER_03Like, I think I got some people hitting me up for cream corn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? Shit, I've I bought it from him too, as well, man. Like, where'd you hear this from? Damn, yep, yep, man. I advertise this shit. Probably me, man. Shit, man. But yeah, man, Shells' cream corn is is amazing, man. And then also, like I said, his his brisket, his ribs, he's a freaking master, um, almost said master steamer. Damn, master steamer. Yeah, he's a master debater. Damn, master smoke your meat for you. Yeah, he can smoke your meat for you, man. Real nice and slow.
SPEAKER_03It's funny because graduations coming up. Yeah, and I already got people booked trying to book me for smoking meat, bro. Man, there you go, it's just it's uh fall off, fall off the bone. It's just I don't know. It's I think about it as prepping is too much and smoking it's too much because you got I smoke mine overnight. Yeah, yep, yep. It's just too much, bro. It's fucking delicious, man. And people don't understand the time it takes, bro. And the meat cost of this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, the meat's going up.
SPEAKER_03So, man. Because today I was gonna go buy a brisket and smoke it for tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, the meat was like fucking 152 bucks.
SPEAKER_00Damn, really. I was like, God damn, damn. Man, man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was like, God damn. But that wasn't that's what I was gonna have tomorrow, but dang, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's crazy, man. Yeah, yeah, man. Um uh we were just um you know, for me, I I think um I don't know, I had a brain fart there. I kind of started for me, man. I I love this, man. I I cannot make it. I've had it made for me is kind of like throw-it-together stew or throw it together soup. Oh yeah. Um holy cow, like I can eat bowls and bowls and bowls of that, dude. Like, it is fucking amazing with some bread. Um man, and I've not had it in geez, man, a while, man. I want some, you know. I want it, and I want it, and it's and it is made a certain way. And I've uh I'm not gonna lie, I tried making it once and it sucked, man. Suck so bad, bro. Like, I'm just like, the fuck am I doing? I was so heartbroken because it uh, you know, like when you when you eat that comfort food, it takes you back, like it takes you to a safe place, it takes you to home, I guess you could say, you know? Yeah, and that that's what that always done for me, like like that throw it together stew or whatever, you know, like it always made me feel like I was home, like I was um, and it was only oh, always kind of just I don't want to say always just made for me. It wasn't that, it was just like, oh, I I know he likes it, so I'm gonna make it, you know? And it was fucking amazing, dude. It was awesome, man. I loved it so much. And I tried making it like holy cow, like a month, month and a half ago, and it just sucked, bro. Like, I don't, I should have paid attention. What was going in there, you know? I just started throwing shit in there. I think this works. Yeah, I think I think I saw this in there, just throwing it broccoli in there, freaking a brick and cheese, noodles, and just like a little puppy. I just like, oh, pick up a puppy. Oh, yeah, it looked like you were in there too. Throw it in there, man, and freaking anything and everything, man. I don't know how freaking the shoe, a shoe ended up in there, man. JC Pitty, JC Pitty ad, man.
SPEAKER_01I was just all like, what is this ad in here, man? Dude, I think that's gonna be the title of this, man. JCP ad, man.
SPEAKER_03But but honestly, man, did you look forward to Sunday so you can look at all the advertisements? Bro, okay, so not, I mean, when I went to my grandpa's house, yeah, and he had an outhouse, so I went in there fucking shitload of newspapers, bro. Damn, man. So I think he was like looking at the fucking ads.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no lie, man. Like, that was my favorite. That was my favorite like um day is was Sunday, you know, when the when the Sunday paper came out, because the ads were all in there. All fresh, man. Like, like uh Best Buy, Walmart, Target, Kmart, Kmart, JC Penney, Payless, and even Full Locker. Remember Full Locker had the ads in there? And then uh uh, of course, you know, like the comics and everything. And yeah, man, I but I don't know, man. We just fought over that JC Penney ad though, man. But that's fucking wild, though, bro. Like, that was wild, man, that they did that, man. Like freaking they traumatized us, man. That was, man, that was, you know, for for us that couldn't afford it. Damn.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, for real, man.
SPEAKER_00You you would think that. You would think that. Oh, then then Sears, too. Remember, Sears had had some of those too. But uh, no, no disrespect to anybody, but Sears had the big ladies in there.
SPEAKER_01Sears had the big ladies in there, man.
SPEAKER_00They had the big ladies with the big old biddies, man, and the fucking like the plus side, and then with Sears, they never had lingerie. What'd they have?
SPEAKER_01Sleepwear robes, nightgowns, pajamas, and fucking Sears did the ladies dirty, man.
SPEAKER_00Like, dude, they for real, man. They had fucking no Sears was the big ladies, man. Like that, that part, that that underwear part, man, was freaking was freaking like um it was, yeah, man. They had the big ladies, man. But then JC, when he came to Jay-Z Penny, it was, and then Jay-C Penny wasn't even um stingy with their diversity, you know. Yeah, white girls, you have black girls, you have Mexican girls. I think one time I even seen a Chinese lady in there, you know? And you're just like, so you got the best of both worlds, man. You're just like, oh, soft, yeah. Fucking sears did the ladies there, the big ladies, man. They're freaking all wearing the big old undies and everything. And I was just like, damn, you make them that size, hey. I am wearing bottoms.
SPEAKER_01I am wearing bottoms.
SPEAKER_03How do you do it?
SPEAKER_00Oh, dude, that was that's straight. That's straight facts, man. That is freaking facts, man. So, Sears, Sears, you guys got some explaining to do. Damn. Oh, man, but that is that is freaking wild, man. But that was always my my my favorite part of Sunday paper was looking at all the ads, you know. Because like I said, they had all the all the advertisements in there from my favorite ones to look at too was um uh Best Buy. Best Buy had, you know, showed showed all the new CDs that are coming out, new releases and stuff. Ja Rule. Ja Rule, man, freaking all Ja Rule. It was a mesmerized mesmerized, man. Yep, right. Was it 316? I think it was, yeah, yeah. Pain is love. I can't remember what it was.
SPEAKER_03Remember it was a red red CD?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pain is love, man. Pain is love, man. But for some reason, I could I could I I don't know if it was just because they boycotted it, but every time MM came out with a new album, they never advertised it. I don't know if you ever noticed that. Yeah, they never advertised, they never advertised uh what do you call it, man? Um they never advertised uh Eminem's album album. Oh, excuse me. So it was um it was pretty crazy, man. But yeah, man, um, you know, like I said, man, childhood, um or not childhood, but uh comfort food. That was it, man, for me, man. Like a throw-together stew. And man, like I said, I I can't make it, man. It's just it's just it's uh and I don't and I don't want to keep trying to make it um because it ruins the significancy of it, you know? Because when I have that, when I have it, it brings back good memories, you know, it brings back uh core memories, and man, I love it. And I don't want to lose that, you know? You know what he sound like a little bitch. I just go, all right, I'm just gonna go to sleep. Just gonna go look for JC Penney ad out there, man.
SPEAKER_03Now it's just turn on JCPenney ad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, now just now just go to jcpenney.com, YouTube, man. And then and then talking about JCPenney's and all these ads or whatever. Uh one of one of our uh listeners, she she asked uh retail therapy. She's like, I know a lot of females go through retail therapy when they do breakups, when they go have a bad day, when they just you know it's just a shit day or whatever. They and she asked, do men go through retail therapy too as well? Like we buy something that we know we don't need, but just because we're in our fields, we're feeling some type of way that we purchase something.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I do, bro. Bro, I ended up with fucking five measuring tapes, bro. Dang, yeah. I was like, what the fuck? How come I got five measuring tapes? You didn't trust the first measure? No, bro.
SPEAKER_00It was like two inches. I know it's the measuring tape. I'm gonna go get another one, and he went from uh old school to digital and then fucking Stanley Deep. And then he just ended up using his uh his measuring tape on his phone, and then he just smeared his lens. That'll work. He just smeared his lens. Okay, that'll work. There was a smudge mark on his lens, so damn. So you you you just retail therapy is like tools? Is that yeah, tools, bro? Tools? Tools. Dang, man. Somehow I end up with double for some reason. Doubles, damn, man. Yeah, yeah. Like um, yeah, she was saying that, you know, like when when she went through her breakup, and then um she said that for hers, uh, she would rather do uh retail therapy versus um eating, like uh going out to go eat and stuff because she's like, yeah, I don't want to gain weight and all this stuff. And and so yeah, retail therapy. Guys go through too as well. I I go through it. I ended up I end up buying hats, uh, end up buying shoes, but man, it's been a long time since I bought like actually bought a nice fitted hat, man. Um man, genie genie. Man, we're on a roll about retail therapy. So one of you ladies out there gushing us, man, because you didn't want us to, we didn't want to, we want to expose you guys. Hey man, they're talking about me. Oh, they're talking about me, yeah. They're spending all my man's money and then my side man's money, and then uh my side man's money. My side dude, man. But yeah, retail therapy, man. Guys, go through it. Uh, like I said, it's been a while since I since I went out and I bought something impulsive like that. Yeah, uh, so yeah, man. Um, and then that goes on to our next question, man. We got some good questions. Uh, confessions of a non-adult, things you still don't know how to do as an adult. Have sex. Have sex, yeah. There it is, man. That that's for me, too, man. I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I don't think I can do it, anyways, man. Damn.
SPEAKER_03Damn, man.
SPEAKER_01Oh, man. All right, I guess, I guess. Uh, we can't have sex, eh?
SPEAKER_03What do I do?
SPEAKER_01What do I do, man?
SPEAKER_00Poor skin that's like that. I guess I guess it's time for meds, man. Fucking uh E D.
SPEAKER_04Damn.
SPEAKER_00Erectile dysfunction, man. Damn, man. So, okay, so so so um, I guess just uh confessions, confessions of a non-adult things you still don't know how to do as an adult. Um besides sex, man. Is there anything else, man? Like, like uh something I don't know how to do. Yeah, I don't know how to do, man, as an adult. Like uh Mines, mine's is uh, and I think we both kind of and this kind of got me thinking of it today was uh I still don't fucking know my census number, bro. Damn, I still have to call or text my mom and ask her what the hell is my census number, bro? And mom's on point, man. Like she fucking knows everybody's census number. Damn. Yep, she'll be like, How old are you? And then she'll text it to me, and I'm just like, How the heck do you know this? And I can tell my mom if she if you know what what my birthday is and what what time I was born and my social security number. She'll tell that really quick, man. And that think that's one thing as as an adult that I still can't do as an adult is fucking remember my census number, even my even my chart number, you know. I just like I'm just like, oh no, give him my birthday number. I think I got my my my fucking chart number unlocked, bro. You got your chart number unlocked, yeah, man.
SPEAKER_03It's just my census number. I don't fucking know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. I think I don't know if anybody does anybody out there know their census numbers. And then that that caught me, that got me on the subject today because uh me and shells, we got a little thing in the works, man. We got we got little things in the work, man, and it's exciting. I don't know, man. Well, I don't want to jinx it. No, no, I know. Okay, okay. I don't want to jinx it, but uh, but we'll just say if everything goes right, uh, we'll be planning a grand opening. Damn, fuck yeah. If everything goes right, uh we'll be planning a grand opening.
SPEAKER_03By the by the sounds of it, it sounds like everything's going right.
SPEAKER_00All right, all right, heck yeah, man. So, and and that's that that's where the census number came on today because uh um um damn, it's it's it's I I I don't want to say, uh let's just say, okay, the application. Uh um I had to put my census number on it, and then Charles had to put his census number on it, and um I I I honestly didn't know my census number. And I asked Charles, I was like, What's your census number? He was just like, uh, I don't know. Hold on, let me get back to you. And then uh he fucking sent it to me. And then I did the exact same thing. I text my mom and I was just like, Mom, what's my census number? She she freaking sent it to me. And then the text message that she put, uh legit, this was a text between me and my mom. I was like, hey, mom, I was like, Do you know my census number? And then she texted to me, and then she was like, Save it in your phone. Dumbass, yeah. My mom, for real, man. I'm just like, she freaking legit put save it in your phone, eh? So you know what I did? I saved it in my phone, man. I'm not gonna, I don't want to feel like a dumbass asking my mom for my census number again. I'm scared to even ask her for my chart number because I know she knows my chart number, man. But but yeah, that was that was one of the things that as an adult, confessions of adult, I I still don't know my census number, man. And then um sex too. Yeah, man, that that's it, man. That's it, man. Yeah, man. It's uh freaking, I don't know, man. I think I'm just giving up on that. Hey.
SPEAKER_03Start looking at Jay-Z Pennys.
SPEAKER_00Start looking at Jay-Z, man, I looked at it too long, that's why, man. And then, and then also, man, what a one of the ones that um, you know, there they were talking about it, and and uh they were just like, hey, what's up, Mike and Shells? First off, man, the podcast is awesome. I love you guys. You guys bring a good sense of humor. You guys are pretty honest with a lot of your podcasts on the views of guys, and thank you for having Kessa on there to have it with the views of the ladies. So, Kessa, you're requested back on here to give some insight on some to get some insight on on how to get beaten on the roast. Damn. One on one on how to get beat. Yeah, man. So Kessa's been back and back invited. I will probably save these questions and ask her too. Um, but uh they were just like, yep, uh we we enjoy it. Uh, me and my partner, I don't know why some people are so shameful to fucking just say boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, spouse, you know, whatever, or ex. Oh, damn, man. Yeah, anti, and uh, but they said, as a couple, we created a bucket list, but we've heard of an anti-bucket list, things you would never want to do in your lifetime. Do you guys have an anti-bucket list? Bro, I do. Never touch a snake, bro. Never touch a snake, no, especially an anaconda.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, fuck no, bro. Man, I'll touch my own snake. There you go, man.
SPEAKER_00Dude, on that story, it's crazy that you brought that up, but I remember in kindergarten, um, the Albuquerque zoo brought some animals to to um to school. Yeah, and one of the animals that they brought was an anaconda. And my mom still has the picture at the house somewhere of me standing there in kindergarten with my hands up holding that, holding part of the snake. There was legit dude, there was probably like 10 of us in our class. We're all lined up, and I was all there cheesed out, holding the snake, and then I remember when I brought back a picture. Oh man, my mom got so mad at me. Like, uh, I mean, we're not traditional or anything like that, but my mom's all like, what if it ate you? Turn around, take off your shirt. Yeah, for real, man. Oh man, but yours is a snake, like any kind of snake, anyway. Yeah, man.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, for me, bro, I fucking hate snakes. You hate snakes. I hate it.
SPEAKER_00Man, man. I fucking hate them, bro. Dang, man. I think I think mines, man, uh anti-bucket list, uh, that that I would never want to do is freaking, you know, have somebody freaking get my butt like freaking anal me.
SPEAKER_01There's no easy way to say it, man.
SPEAKER_02Got off quiet and serious.
SPEAKER_01I got off quiet and serious because I don't want to say, I don't want to say anything inappropriate, but yeah. He's all trying to hold it back?
SPEAKER_00I was all trying to meet my butthole's my butthole, all right? And no means no, no means no, all right, man. But yeah, that's my that's my anti-buckingness, man. Leave my butthole alone, all right? Yeah, just back up, man. Cause if you try, I'm gonna freaking try to shit on you and fart in your finger or whatever, or whatever, trying to stick in there. Not an alien, so don't try to probe me. Hey, I mean, you might like it, but nah, man. I'm good, man. You know, this is that you are a boy, damn it. Toby, be good to master.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Toby be good to master so my master saw anything you want, Toby does it, anything you want, and it puts a lotion on its skin. Lotion on the skin.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, but that is my I mean that I I think that would probably be my my only anti-bucket list that is things things I would never want to do in my lifetime, is that man. Like, even if somebody was just like, yo, I'll pay you like millions of dollars, just freaking uh touch your butthole or something. I'll be like, you know, like no man, yup, diddy, man. Diddy comes out of jail, man, and uh and says, hey man, I'll give you millions and millions of dollars for letting me touch your butthole. I'm like, heck, no, man, freaking no, man. You know, two different things, man, snakes and buttholes. Somehow they go together.
SPEAKER_01Oh, damn, man.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that is too freaking funny, man. Oh, man. That is that is too crazy, man. And as we um as we get down to the list, man, like I said, these are some good, these are some good questions. And again, yeah, we're gonna have to have Kessa come in and and answer it like on a female side, and she's gonna freaking put everybody on all the females on blast with the Burger King question again. Oh Burger King. Dude, some people are still emailing, some females are still emailing in that about that. But Kessa was Kessa misunderstood the question, she misheard it, and it's not her fault. So, ladies, go easy on her. Uh, she didn't say she wasn't um implying that she only dates blue collars. Damn, she's kind of uh um, even though she does.
SPEAKER_03Damn, she's uh dyslexic on her hearing.
SPEAKER_00She is, and she's just a regular female, she doesn't hear.
SPEAKER_01Oh man. That is fucking damn I'm just joking.
SPEAKER_00I am just joking, all right. Don't get all butt hurt. It was all just joking. Oh, it takes and then okay, so so this one, uh, this one is um they were kind I don't want to say they were in their feels, but they just wanted to um, I guess just get our opinion on it. It says, hey, what's up, Mike and Shells? Uh thank you guys for the good laughs, thank you guys for the podcast and uh just all that you guys do. I really do appreciate the podcast. It does help on my day go by quick. I do work night shift, and so listening to your podcasts uh during my night shift helps pass the time. Uh, thank you for all the good laughs, and thank you for being honest on there too as well. And again, I know you guys always say that you guys don't do relationship questions, but I just wanted to ask this. Me and my ex just recently broke up after six years of being together. Nothing bad. We just decided that we wanted we wanted two different things, and we were not willing to compromise to satisfy each other's lifestyle. But when we both apologize, I felt like his apologize his apology wasn't success uh wasn't sincere, and he stated that my apology didn't sound sincere too as well. So my question to you guys, knowing that you guys have been in relationships and have had exes, maybe, yeah, yeah. And then it says, um, did you believe your ex when they apologized to you when they said sorry?
SPEAKER_03The first time, yeah, the second time boasted.
SPEAKER_00The first time? No. Okay. So so the first time you so okay, so the first, I guess you could say the first breakup, um it was when you're young, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, and then you're you're vulnerable, you're naive, dumbass, yeah, stuck up. Stuck little asshole, man, and and you know, she was she was only 12 at the time, and people learn today. Yeah, Stephanie. You won't learn the day. So that first breakup, um, when you when you guys said sorry, um, you you believed her? The first time, yeah. The first time? How was how was her apology? Like, what was it if you don't mind me asking?
SPEAKER_03Dude, it was on a fucking letter first. Uh-huh. And then I told her I told her straight up, I was like, you can't say sorry on a letter. Yeah. Then she told me she's like, oh, I'm sorry, then like, yeah. And I was like, all right, cool. Then the first that was the first time. That was the first time. Yeah, then the second time was you know, it was bullshit. It was bullshit. Because the same thing she apologized for happened again.
SPEAKER_00So that's interesting. Was it the same person? Yeah, the same person. Oh shit. So you didn't learn your lesson, you went back, eh? Yeah, same person. Oh man, that kind of sounds like a bitch, man. Bitch. Oh, man, that's pretty rowdy, man. Um, uh, I don't want to say rowdy, but I think I think mine's, yeah, mine's was kind of like that too. But the crazy thing about it, and I've never told this story, was my, I guess you could say my first crush, my first girlfriend, or whatever, and we only went out for like a month or so. Um, but as we were, and and and this is why I'm traumatized by homie hoppers because uh after a while she was like, um, she was like, oh, I started to like this other guy, and I don't he I don't think he listens to the podcast, so it's okay to say his name. Uh she was like, Oh, I like Harlan. Yeah, she was like, Oh, I like Harlan. And we were on the same 12 and under basketball team. Yeah, and she was uh she just her her brother played on another team, so she was there with her mom and everything. So of course she was at the games. Uh we started kind of talking, liking each other. Like I said, we we knew each other and everything. And then we just kind of like, oh, you know, like, will you be my girlfriend? Will you be my boyfriend? Yeah, so the the typical threat, whatever, love, or I don't know, it's not, it wasn't even love, it was just um, you know, just just going through the fields or whatever. So the the the week before that she was like getting ready to break up with me or whatever, she was just like, Oh yeah, she's like, I didn't know that Harlan was on your team, I like him too. And I'm like, damn, man, okay, that was that was my first experience with the homie hopper, right? First experience with the homie hopper, and the way that we broke up was through the the the paper, yeah. Remember the paper flower thing? Like you you um you pick a number, then one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and then you open it, or not open it, but you choose a color, yeah, like that. So that that she made one of those, and all it all it all it had on there was two answers was break up and stay together. Damn. So I remember we're at a basketball tournament at the D gym. This is so fucking embarrassing and stupid, man. Before the game, we're we're talking and everything, and she was just like, Oh, I want to ask, I want to ask Carlin now. I want to ask Carlin to the Halloween dance and all this stuff. And I'm just like, damn, man, like fucker, hey fucker, fucker, like give me my jersey, hey. Damn. But but yeah, I remember she um she she brought it and she was just like, this will decide, this will decide, and all this stuff. So I'm like, okay, so she really busts it out. And at that time, that thing was super popular in in school, and everybody believed that it was really magical or could really tell your future and stuff, you know. So, of course, like she was just like, Well, it was the color, and this is gonna haunt me. This is why I don't like purple. Fuck you, purple is the reason why I hate purple, man. Fucking screwed me over purple, but no, for real. The first one was purple, and so and then I never thought of this until this question came in, and I was getting ready to tell the story. So, my my jersey number, my favorite jersey number has always been 32. Yeah, and it's crazy because my favorite um Michigan State basketball player was Magic Johnson, his number was 32, yeah. And I think about it now, my number was 32, and on that little piece of paper it had 32 on there. And then fucking Harlan's number was 12. His number was on there, and so that got me thinking, okay, it got me thinking there's two other numbers in here. So, which two of these fuckers on the team is she talking to? Two, you know? So of course I did purple, you know. She spelled out purple, and then I did 32, so she counted 32, and then I can't remember what else it was, and then she finally opened it, and then it was like breakup. Damn, and I was like, damn. I was like, man, at that time I was like, okay, the paper has spoken, that's what it is, you know. And uh man, didn't even get to kiss her face and this came on.
SPEAKER_01Yep, damn. That did come on, man.
SPEAKER_00Oh man. That's crazy. Damn. Oh man, at that time, at that time, I'm not okay. So now that I think of her name now, I still see her around to this day. I still see her around, and it's crazy because no, no, no. The crazy part about it is last year I DJ'd her daughter's graduation recession. And um I never, you know, like we like, you know how we always make fun of names and stuff. I've never really came across across her uh a name like that, but her name was Delphine. Delphine, like it was kind of like, but um, I don't think she listened to podcasts. No, no. So that was my that was my first little relationship there. And I I don't know what they call that little paper thing, but I'm mad at the color purple. It's called Gushy. Man, gushy, gushy, gushy, man. Fucking purple and 32, man. But I still rep 32 though, man. That's that's freaking, yeah, bro. Oh man, and then um, yeah, so that was that was and and then that's what that I get that wasn't really she didn't really apologize. That was just how the how that ended. It was just that, and then I guess you my first real girlfriend, damn. But um at the at the uh DJ party the DJ party was different. But um, but but like my actual real like my real first girlfriend. Um we just yeah, we just broke up over the phone, man. And uh uh she just said that that she wasn't she wasn't ready, or no, not wasn't ready, but her mom and dad found out. Um and they were just like, you can't have a boyfriend and all this stuff. I want you to call him. And then I remember her dad called the house. I picked up and he was just like, Yeah, man, speak to Michael. And so I was like, Oh shit, it's like this is Michael, and um almost said her name. Uh he was like, Oh, this is so-and-so's uh this is so-and-so's um dad. I just wanted to let you know she's not allowed to date. Uh, we found out that you guys were dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever. Uh, just letting you know that it has to stop and she has she's gonna tell you and she gave the phone to her, or he gave the phone to her, and then it sounded like she was crying, you know? And she was like, I'm sorry. She's like, I can't, I we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend, and you know, all this stuff. Oh, I got in trouble, and she's like, I have to break up with you. I'm sorry, but thank you for being nice to me. And like, I was I was like invested in that, man. I was invested in that, and I was just like, All right, I was all sad, man. I remember going to the going to school the next day and being all sad, and and it was even more sad because her locker was only like two lockers away from me. So I had to see her regardless, you know. And she was in three of my classes too, so I'm like, damn, this is hard, eh? But I don't I don't believe her apology because her dad, her her dad uh made her apologize, or not made her apologize, but her dad's one that um had uh made her break up with us.
SPEAKER_03So damn it's your dad's fault.
SPEAKER_00But it's her dad's fault, man. So and the crazy part about it is man, I've I've after after that year, uh, they moved. I don't know where they moved to, and shoot, I don't know what what happened to them, man. Yep, yep, it was it was pretty crazy, man. But uh didn't believe that that apology. So technically we're still dating. We're still together. We're still together, man. And coming back to the homie hopper. This question right here was like, hey, what's up, Mike and Shells? Big time listeners, thank you guys so much for making my shift go by quick when I'm on the road. I just wanted to ask you guys an honest question since you guys are always talking about brotherhood, about how you guys are so close with not only you you guys, but with your circle there. So, this I guess this is for the homies and for the ladies, too, as well, because there is girl code and there is guy code. So, this is my question Would you cheat on your lady or snitch on the homies?
SPEAKER_04Damn what the fuck?
SPEAKER_00So if you had a choice, if you had a choice, man, like you you uh to cheat on your your lady or uh to snitch on the homies, like snitchy, like I guess it it I guess I'm I'm trying to figure out what snitch on the homies, like one homie, two homies, all the homies, like you're fucking exposing all the homies, you're exposing all the homies. Exponing all the homies, damn, man.
SPEAKER_03Oh man. So depending on how long you guys were homies for, bro, I would can I would take that in consideration.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay, okay, okay. So let's say uh your homie's been more than 15 plus years. And okay, 15 plus years, and you've only been dating her for let's say uh three years. Oh fucking cheating. Oh, you're cheating! Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, but oh man, I am that's my honest sensory, bro.
SPEAKER_02That's my honest answer, bro.
SPEAKER_00Dude, when I when I read this, dude, I was going back and forth because yeah, I I I seen the um the length of the homies because I'm just like, oh shit, like we've been homies for this long. And you know, like like the duration of me and her has only been let's say three, four years or whatever. But you know, I was going back and forth, like, okay, is this gonna last? You know, is is this is this gonna last? Is this gonna go into to marriage or into your future? Nah, bro, she's flipping Jody, bro. Oh man, dude. And I to be honest, dude, I was fucking stuck, man. I was fucking I I honestly cannot answer that without um the statistics, hey, um, um of the of the relationship. Like, how long is this relationship gonna last? Is it really going to um go into marriage? Are we really gonna have a relationship to where where we are as many years as it is with the homies, you know, or is she just kind of like the flavor of the years or whatever? And then also I went into do my homies like her, you know, do they get along with her? Damn. Well, they sell her out if they see her out in the club too, you know. Well, they tell me, like, yo, man, that bitch was in the club, man. She was dancing with somebody else. Will they do that for me? You know, like uh, and and if she is out in the club with somebody else, uh fuck it, man. I'm going with the homies, man. Fuck it, I'm going with the homies.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, baby. I love you, buddy.
SPEAKER_00I love you buddy, you know, because I know your homegirls would do the exact same thing for you, man.
SPEAKER_01Oh man, dude, that yeah, bro. Like, I don't know, man.
SPEAKER_00That's just my oh man. So that was a good question. So everybody out there, listeners, that's why we need to get Kessa on that.
SPEAKER_03But but the different, but if it was switched around, bro, yeah, I think I think it stitched the homies, bro. Yeah. But if it was switched in the opposite the opposite direction, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like if the homies were like two years, a year.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that that's that's all right. Yeah, so so if I if I was dating her more years than I knew the homies, yeah, definitely fucking snitch on her. I'm sorry, but yeah, I I don't know you, man. I don't I you stole that candy bar. You know, you stole that candy bar from Rita. You know, you stole it for her, man. Yeah, yeah, he did it. He did it. Lock him up, fucking lock him up, man. You know, and you know, while you're locked up, I'm over here fucking having sex with my girl, man. You know, you're over there in jail, touching yourself.
SPEAKER_03Hey, he did he did uh take out his uh what is that thing called the when you blow in? Uh the breathalyzer. Breathalizer. Yeah, he did take it out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he did take it out, man. He did take it out. He did take it out, man. Blue with his butt. That's why that's why he passed. Hey, yep. Hey, man.
SPEAKER_03Dude. Damn. Yeah, we need Kessel needs to answer this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Kessel needs to answer that.
SPEAKER_03Cause I I I know it. I think she I think her answer is right for the homegirls. Right for the home girls. Oh, I mean, it works in both directions, I think.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's a that's a that's a valid. That's you mean you made a good statement there, man, because like I said, man, I I wasn't thinking about the years of the homies. I just got homies, you know. Um, but the years of knowing the homies versus yeah, because you you don't know the the length of your relationship. It could go to shit, and then you always can have your homies, you know. Jodie's gonna be riding your car, riding, man.
SPEAKER_01Then it would be like, oh, it's just Jody to live with his mama, and I told you to put a block on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, damn, but yeah, okay, yeah, man.
SPEAKER_00Fucking homies man, right with your man. Yep.
SPEAKER_02Uh uh, you know, uh we got here, but you gotta find your ride home.
SPEAKER_00And yeah, but that's that's yeah, that's crazy, man. I mean, if she if she was like a like a ride-ed die, and and she we actually, you know, it it was a hundred percent um fact that you we were gonna make it, that we were actually gonna get married, there's no buts and ifs or whatever, then you know, I I would snitch on one homie. Yeah, yeah, I would snitch on one homie, and and and I already know which homie to snitch on, man, because he's a bitch, and he's a bitch, man. Go fucking write poems, man. Snitch on you, man.
SPEAKER_02God damn.
SPEAKER_00Oh damn, man. But but yeah, man, uh I I would, man. I mean, okay. Damn, man. Breaking shots fired. Too bad they don't listen to the TV. It's your fucking fault, man. I'll see you know exactly who the fuck you are, man. Oh man, but yeah, I mean, I've if if it was, you know, like like I said, man, it was a guarantee that that me and me and her were gonna make it and everything be good, man. Be like, yep, I'll I'll I'll snitch on one homie and I know who that homie is. Because you a bitch, man. Fucking go go right homie. Oh damn. Yo, man, I'll send you some JC Penney ads, man, man. Oh, man. That's too funny. And then uh that was that was the majority of the questions, man. And then one of them was always um is is always uh what do you call it? Um, it was like, hey, what's up, Mike and Shells? Me and my me and my hubby or my husband. I don't know what hus means. Uh, I think it means husband too. Uh we're out for a date night, and we can we kind of came across on a small disagreement, nothing too big, uh, but it came to tips. Uh my husband likes to tip on service. I just like to tip on whatever is the percentage on the screen or whatever is on the receipt. What is your thoughts on tips that you tip?
SPEAKER_03Bro, on tips, bro. I think I go with service too, but yeah, yep, yep, that's exactly how you're refilling my drinks and always checking and all that. Yeah, yep. Yeah. And I was like, all right, cool, you're good. Yeah, I always fucking tip them, bro. But if they're doing a fucking lousy job, I'm like, why the fuck you here?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's been times, yep, exactly, man. There've been times I've sat there like fucking drinking my spit. Yeah, because I didn't have my water, you know, or I didn't have my pop or whatever, you know. And and then they they they make you feel like shit, like oh yeah, you don't have to, you know, like this, this is just the required, you know, percentage or whatever. And the percentage isn't even the right percentage, anyways, you know. And then they start off at eight dollars. I don't know if you notice that now. Yeah, like the percentage is eight dollars now, and then it goes all the way up to like 23 bucks. I'm like, fuck yeah, man. Like, you gonna pull my tip you 23 dollars, man. Fucking super soaker me, man.
SPEAKER_03You know, super soaker, dude. It was funny because uh one time we ate out and um I told the manager, I was like, Hey, can I talk to your manager? Because, dude, we were fucking sitting there for like 15-20 minutes with no fucking drinks. Yeah, and I was like, Can I talk to your manager? She's like, Oh yeah, so let me go get him. And she's like, Why what's wrong? And I told her, I was like, We didn't get our fucking drinks yet. And you said you were gonna bring our drinks back, but we didn't get no fucking drinks. Yeah, oh I'm sorry, I'll bring them right now. I was like, No, I want to talk to the manager, yeah. And then here um she brought the manager over. He's like, What's going on? And I told him, I was like, We didn't get our fucking drinks yet. And it's been like 20 minutes, 25 minutes, and I was like, I don't know. We she said she was gonna come back with them. I don't know, she took him to another table. I was pissed off, bro. Yeah, and then he's like, Oh, I'm sorry, I apologize. He's all like, Um, you know, what I can do is um I can give you guys gift cards, and um, you guys don't have to tip her. He's all like, Don't worry about that, I'll take care of that. And then I was like, Yeah, then he made her whole meal free, bro.
SPEAKER_00Damn, man, damn, man.
SPEAKER_03He's like, I'll take care of your meal and I'll give you some gift cards. He's all like, Are we okay? I was like, Yeah, he's like, I'll take care of you from now on. Damn. So through that whole evening, bro, he took care of us, made sure we got our drinks, everything, bro.
SPEAKER_00Damn. I I know one place that I never tip at. Um, I don't know why I kept going back there when I did, was fucking Buffalo Wild Wings. Damn. Fucking Buffalo Wild Wings in Farmington, New Mexico. I'm putting them on blast, man. Fuckers. Fucking Buffalo Wild Wings in Farmington, New Mexico suck ass, eh? The food has gone trash, the service has gone trash, not unless your friends of the waitresses or the waiter, you ain't getting shit.
SPEAKER_04That's bad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for real, man. And you know, like when when we used to go to Buffalo Wild Wings for like happy hour with the with the crew and everything, like we always would fucking complain about it, complain about it, man. And and I think I think we just stopped going there. Well, I stopped going there and and everything. And it's just yeah, man, fucking Buffalo Wild Wings is is trash there, man. And then the funny thing about it, man, was everybody was all hyped up. I don't know if you if you heard that rumor or saw that rumor, there was a meme going around about hooters coming to Farmington.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I see it.
SPEAKER_00And they put it right next to Buffalo Wild Wings.
SPEAKER_03I was like, what the fuck? Dude, what did you think about that, man? The Hooters in Farmington, dude. I'm trying to I'm gonna apply there, bro.
SPEAKER_00Damn, man, damn man. I was just like, at first I was I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hooters, I'm all for Hooters, man. You don't be there, and then afterwards, I was just like, does Farmington have that um what do you call it? Have that image to keep a Hooters going. I mean, I'm I'm not a pervert or anything like that, but Farmington is limited on I'm pretty sure you have to dig deep.
SPEAKER_03Damn, I'm pretty sure because you got people that come out of town too that work. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00That that's what I was gonna say too, because I know I know they they they they bring in like features, I guess you could say. Um, but I was low-key excited because as you guys know, when I come back from Muscalero on on Sunday, when when I'm driving back, I have a tradition to go to Hooters. Yeah, uh, because Hooters fish, their fish is amazing. Like, holy cow. Yeah, they're fish, huh? That's what it is, my key. Yep, they're fish.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, I want to go there for fish too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. No, but for real, dude, like the the fish is amazing there, man. And and it's it's uh it's a tradition, man. When I come back from Muscalero and I'm driving through Albuquerque to stop there and eat lunch on Sunday and get get my fish fixed, and I'm good. So when I saw that sign there, get my fish, get my fix, I have to put the menu in front of it.
SPEAKER_03Dominic Toretto, nobody likes a fish here.
SPEAKER_00Nobody likes I do, yeah. But when I saw when I saw that sign, um be when I saw that sign, I was just like, oh shit, like we are getting into Hooters. Come to think of, come to find out it was just a fucking prank, man. If I and and after that, I I just kind of thought about it, and I was just like, you know what? I want to make another sign, a bigger sign, that says future home of Buffalo Wild Wings 2. Damn. And then on that sign put better service, better management, better food, so you don't have to deal with the bullshit across the street. Damn.
SPEAKER_01I want to do it, dude.
SPEAKER_00I wanted to make a sign and put it on there like that, and then just see if it goes viral. Or anybody like would take a picture of it and then I see it, you know? Oh, yeah, well, oh man, I wanted I dude, I wanted to do that so bad, but I didn't know where to print it without it being traced back to me, you know. I mean, everybody knows about it now because I fucking talked talked about it on the podcast. Yeah, what a yellow, put on card, put it on a cardboard, but but I was like, who can make that sign uh without it being like so suspicious or whatever, you know? Yeah, uh, because everything leads to a paper trail nowadays, you know. But I wanted to make that sign and put it on there just as a fucking joke because yeah, man, fucking Buffalo Wild Wings, man. The the there I'm I'm even surprised it's even still open, man, to be honest. Like it's it's it's it's trash, man.
SPEAKER_03Um that's why I never eat there. Yeah, dang, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Lucky, lucky, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Dude, my first time I ate there, bro.
SPEAKER_00I was like, uh, I don't know. It was good at a time, at a time. This was probably when it first opened. Like even the the wings got really small, man. They're just like freaking bite-sized, man. And I'm just like, what the heck, man? But but yeah, that's what I would do with that sign, man, was is that man. But I was kind of low-key bum when they said that Hooters wasn't coming, and I'm just like, and then after a while, I was just like, Well, you know, like Farmington isn't that, you know. I mean, you have to dig deep for some gems, you know? It's gonna be all Sears catalog ad ladies there. I'm going, I'm going, man. Where's your bottoms?
SPEAKER_01Where's your bottom?
SPEAKER_00And then how you doing, man? It's gonna be the Sears catalog ad over there. Damn, that's still fucking too funny, man. But thinking about those ads, man, I was that's what I was thinking. I was like, man, Sears did the ladies dirty on that one, man. And then Sears, and then I don't know if you noticed, but Kmart, Kmart was all about the guys. Yeah, like you know, they're showing their underwear, their boxes, and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. Kmart was all about the guys. Like, I mean, not that I was looking at that. No, I was looking at the Kmart ads, but but now that I'm thinking about it, like Kmart was seriously like their their their game was briefs, yeah. And and I remember looking at those like like the underwear stuff, even with the even with the little boys, like they freaking had the little boys up on there, freaking in their little chonies and everything. And I'm just like, damn, think about it now. I'm just like, you could you this could pass as porn, you know? It's crazy, man. It's it's super crazy, man. But yeah, man. Um, and then that leads to our last our last question kind of full circle. We always go full circle, you know, the the Hogan way. Hey, go clockwise, go clockwise, and you exit out back into East A. But it was Mike and Shells. You guys are hilarious. I love your honesty. I love when you guys talk about guy stuff that most people would feel uncomfortable talking about, and you guys hit a subject about self-grooming. I always have issues when I self-groom. I know that my lady likes it, but sometimes I get scared doing it because I don't want to cut anything. But how do you shave your balls? You gotta figure this out, man.
SPEAKER_04Damn. Damn.
SPEAKER_02They got uh electric razors now.
SPEAKER_00They got electric razors now that are guaranteed not to clip anything else but the hair on your balls. So I would suggest you get that. Yeah, get that spend some money on it and freaking even you know, maybe have your lady do it. Just have your lady do it. No, bro. You wouldn't trust your lady? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, would you trust me? Fug no. No, no, no. I think I think I would, I think I would trust you. And and it it was funny when I was reading this we almost said commercial, when I was reading this, uh, this this question, um, I was watching uh she's out of your league. Yeah, and remember that scene when he was shaving that guy's balls at you, and then he was just like, How how how is this how is this not not close to being gay? And then the guy was just like, he's like, I don't think it's I don't think it has anything, or I don't think it's gay. He was like letting a man and then he was like a married man that's straight shave your balls, and he was like, I think that's one of the manliest things you can do. And I started to think about that, and I was just like, you know what? I was like, that's that's kind of he got kind of got to point there. You know, if if somebody told me, if if a good friend told me, like, hey Mike, you know, I don't trust myself shaving my balls. Can you shave my balls? I'm like, okay, give me a mask, man. I'm not trying to get hair in my mouth and my nose. I'll freaking line you up. That freaking line you up, man. Freaking, you know, taper cut, uh, straight edge, everything, man. You know? Yeah, man. And you know, because uh I don't know, man. I mean, I that was a valid, that was kind of a valid quote in that movie, don't trust myself, you don't trust yourself, man. Man, so when you usually shave your balls, man, do you electric shaver, bro? Electric shaver, electric shaver, bro. Do you go from bottom to top or top to bottom?
SPEAKER_03Bottom top, man.
SPEAKER_00So so sat to shaft. Fuck yeah, bro. That's the way to go.
SPEAKER_03Like it's it's hard sometimes, but you know, uh when you got the electric shaver, it makes it easier. Oh shit, I'm shaving everything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there you go, man. And then you just start shaving everything on, you just come out all freaking skinless or hairless. Yeah, even your eyebrows and your mustache and all shaved, man.
SPEAKER_02Damn.
SPEAKER_00Oh man. And then those electric razors, you know, when they get something gets caught in, you're like, yeah, like it's dying. Yeah, it looks like it's dying, man. Freaking big old hairball in there, man. Damn. Damn, man. But uh I've I've never used an electric shaver, man. On my I just freaking, I just sharpened my knife and damn straight edge, straight edge, man. Wet leather. Wet leather, yeah. Then afterwards, just freaking hit it with some old spice and then all you hear is just uh hit in the nuts on the phone. Have the first time that you ever did that. Um did you do that with that because I did, dude, with aftershame. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, man. It was the Gillette, bro. The Gillette. Oh shit, I remember that.
SPEAKER_03That fucking burn dude.
SPEAKER_00Yup. The first time that I manscaped, I um uh I didn't know that that you could you could just trim it, you know. I fucking just went ball, man. Just freaking just shaved everything. Oh damn. I just fucking just went went at it, shaved everything, and then um I never forget it, man, because uh my back in the day my mom used to sell Avon.
SPEAKER_01Let me try this.
SPEAKER_00That that that tells you guys how young I fucking shaved it. All right, man. So my mom was all Avon, so you know, like she she'd always test like the collodes out of my dad. And uh, what do you call it? Wild country. Wild country was my dad's favorite scent. And I remember there was a wild country after shave on there. Yeah and I remember after I shaved and everything, and I freaking just put some in my hand, just slapped it, and oh man. I kid you not, dude. I think my balls was red for a whole fucking week, bro. Like looked like it was dipped in Kool-Aid or something, man. Like a freaking murder scene, man. Damn, I'm freaking burning. Dude, I remember I was so uncomfortable at school, and then every time I would just barely move my leg, that that aftershave that was already on my nuts would would reactivate again. I'm like, fuck, man, it was burning, man. I'm just like, oh man, but I was walking like a cowboy that day, man. Please go away. Please go away. Please go away, please. Stephanie. Oh man, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm liping sinking mace today. Please go away, please go away.
unknownStephanie, come here.
SPEAKER_04Blow on it, blow on it.
SPEAKER_00But I don't know. What it uh I mean, if you told me like, hey, I can't get this part, I would, man. I I would go in there and just line you up.
SPEAKER_03Delphine, get this from you.
SPEAKER_00Yep, Dauphin, can you uh let's see what the paper says? Let's go back to purple. Let's see if it says yes to shading the balls. One, two, three, four, five, six.
SPEAKER_02My number's still 32.
SPEAKER_00My number's still 32, so I still hate purple, but let's go purple this time.
SPEAKER_01Oh, look at Delphi. That's a rowdy name too. Oh man, man.
SPEAKER_00Oh, but yeah, man. I mean, if if if you or like one of the other homies, close homies, was just like, oh man, you know, like can you can you trim me up? I'd be like, yeah, I'm African. Jerry Bear. Jerry Bear. Jerry Bear said, yo, man, shave my balls, man. But yeah, I'm African. Because like I said, man, you know, I'm not gay. There's nothing, there's nothing wrong with it. If you're gay out there, just look away. Yo, just look away and shave, man. And you know, I'm I'm straight, you know, and and I think that's one of the manliest things you can do, man, is shave a friend's nuts, man. Damn. Shave his nuts, man. So so you're telling me if Superman walked in here, you would? Yeah, if he was just like, dude, shave me and freaking put it on table. Hey man, well, what do you want, man? Line it up, fade it up. If you can get the comb out and blend it in and everything, yeah, make a design, Superman design on there, and freaking. All right, there you go. And then all you hear is all you hear is this uh that's all you hear, yeah. Freaking dusting it, dusting it off, man. Blowing it off. There you go, man. There you go, man. How do you how do you like that, man? Look at it. Look at it. It's good, huh, man? See you see how I touched it up right there, man.
SPEAKER_02He's like, oh.
SPEAKER_00Oh, man. Thank you, thank you, huh? Creator, thanks you, man, for shaving, shaving my balls, man. Yeah, man, I would be man. No shame, man. Oh man. So but if you guys are listening to this, don't get any pervert ideas. And just be like, oh man, I have to shape my balls now. That's not what I'm saying, man. I'll know you like that. Keep your balls to yourself, man. Keep it in your cul-de-sac. Oh, man. But those are the questions that came in that I was wanting to ask with Shell's here. And again, like I said, we want to bring Kessa on to get a female's point of view on some of these questions. She did good the last time. And she's been busy, man. She's been busy. She's on a she's on a journey too, as well. You know, she's riding bikes. Falling in the bushes. Falling in the bushes, man. Dude, man. Oh shit, dude. I fell off, man. I fell off running, man. I fell off running and biking, bro. Because the weather in Fort Defiance has just been shit, bro. Like, just dusty, dude. Windy, dusty, and everything. Yeah, bro. And I'm not gonna lie, bro. Like, I feel awful, man. Like my body feels awful. Uh, I feel like I've gained weight again. And um, you know, I'm just I'm excited that I gained weight, like I said before, you know, because before that, I was I was just every time I would gain weight, I would lose it quick and then lose more on top of that. But now, you know, everything's good, you know, health-wise or whatever. Um, um, I'm able to keep on that weight, but I don't like it, bro. I don't like it, man. I'm just like, man, I don't I don't like this feeling, man. I don't like the way I look, man. My fucking shadow is just doing me wrong, man. Fucking shadow shadow, man, is just fucking doing me wrong, man. But but uh, but we still on that journey to to try to run. Got two weeks left before the ship rock marathon, man. And and uh hopefully, like I said, man, if you guys don't hear from me, go look for my body somewhere out there, man.
SPEAKER_03Damn, dude. I'm really crossing my fingers that uh the grand opening will happen before.
SPEAKER_00Dude, that would holy cow, that would be fucking amazing. Fingers crossed, bro. Fingers crossed, man. And if you guys could just do us a favor, if you guys could just send your good thoughts and send your prayers towards us. Um, like I said, we don't want to give it away, but we got we got something in the works that's gonna be pretty epic on both myself and Shell's side. Uh, we are looking forward to it. Uh, so send us your prayers, please. Just just pray for for um good financial decisions. Uh, pray for blessings and pray for wisdom and guidance as we try to take this next step in this journey. Uh, but it's gonna be fun, bro. I'm looking forward to it, man. I was I was I was looking at things, you know, and and filling out that um financial side of it. I was like, fucking, I don't know this stuff. I was like, I don't know this stuff, man. I was I was just fucking crunching any kind of numbers, man. I was just like, okay, if um if Jaden had two cents and he gave one cent away, um um how much does Jaden Jaden have? Five dollars. Uh Jaden's broke.
SPEAKER_02Jaden broke him broke, man.
SPEAKER_00I didn't forgot about the butt but again, man. Thank you guys so much. But please, please, please, just um, if you guys again just keep us in your prayer.
SPEAKER_01How much money how much money does he have? Jade broke. Oh man. Oh, yeah. That's what it is right there, man.
SPEAKER_00That's that's that's real math, man. Jade broke up, Jaden Broke, man. Shoo, man. Oh, man. That is that is too crazy, man. That is, yeah, that is crazy, man. But again, like I said, man, keep us in your prayers. Uh we are big things, man. Big things. We don't want to give too much away. Um, but man, I'm excited, bro. I'm excited too. I'm freaking excited about it, man. And and um, you know, it's gonna be it's gonna be a new journey. And again, when when everything does is official, we'll know. You guys will know. Uh, we're gonna be putting a stamp on it, and um it's gonna be it's gonna be awesome, man. Oh, we're gonna have a potty. Yeah, we're gonna have a potty, man. We're gonna have a potty.
SPEAKER_03It's freaking be cool, man. And I think I I think for the first if if it everything falls through, bro. I got like a big cookout that's gonna happen. Damn, hell yeah, man.
SPEAKER_00Free cookout, man. Free cookout. You guys heard it first, man. And uh, yeah, man, and it's it's man, it's it's it's unreal, but it's real, man. It's unreal, it's just right there. Yeah, it's just right there, bro. Yeah, man, because I was I was thinking about it today, and I was just like, holy shit, like this is this is we're actually in the right steps of it. And even the process of it, it was unreal, man. How it was accepted really quick. And I was like, holy shit. I was like, okay, God, you know, if this is what you are, this is what your plan is, then heck, let's move forward with it. And then Shell's called and he was just like, Oh, I need this, I need this. I'm like, oh shit, okay. Started, you know, doing this and that. And then again, you know, I was praying. I was like, all right, God, is it this is a big step, you know, like um, let's uh if if this is what you need, freaking Sheldon again, okay. This this is what we need to get. I was like, oh shit, okay. I was like, all right. I was like, I was like, damn, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01Don't don't uh don't don't happen too quick, and that's crazy, man.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, man, and and it, and I even that even happened with uh with the with the album, acoustic, acoustic heartbreaks. Um I submitted it. Uh, I usually this like I like I've said the process of the submission usually takes forever uh because they they have to do a listening party, you know, everybody has to listen to the lyrics, make sure it's not plagiarized, make sure somebody else didn't write it, make sure that the music is is original, it's composed by you and stuff like that. It never goes through quick, man, but it only took a week before it got accepted. It was accepted. I got the email, it was like everything's good. Uh release date, pre-order sales or whatever is on May 1st, and then the release date is on May 26th. I was like, holy shit, like this is unreal, you know? And then also that that little site that I have, dude, I didn't even have to pay for that, man. They offered that for free. So I was like, holy cow, it's like, yeah, I'll, you know, I'll do it. And and um uh I don't like to look at stats, bro, but it is uh the numbers of the stats of people that viewed it, the people that stream it, they'll just listen to it now. Is uh it it it I don't want to say anything bad, man, but it freaking hit 5k, man. Yep. So I was I was happy about it and I was like, damn, all right, God, you know, uh this is just um you know something that that was in the works 20 years in the works, man. And then, you know, with the new project with me and Shells is is freaking just a thought, man. And then moving in the right direction. Damn there, it's getting there, man. So it's gonna be like I said, man, new journeys, new journeys, man. New journeys are always scariest, but it's always good, man, when you have people, the right people in your corner and the right people that are walking with you, man. So uh, you know, make sure, make sure. We always say, man, we always say you guys are in the favor of the creator. Don't you guys ever forget that. And we want to thank all of you guys for the love and the support on the podcast, too. Dude, I the the the the last the last time that I looked at the stats for the podcast uh was the last time that we recorded, you know, anything and dude the the the the stats and the location it has been super super crazy, bro. Like holy shit. Let me let me share these. Let me share these new these are countries, these are countries and territories, man. Countries, countries, these are countries, and so we got United States, we got Singapore, we got Germany, we got Vietnam, we got Ethiopia. Is that how you say it? Yeah, Ethiopia, we got Siberia, we have um, I don't know how you say that. Um uh Amer, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03No idea.
SPEAKER_00Amer, um damn, I can't even see the screen. Uh um Amerian, I think that's how you say it. Hungary, um uh Malaysia, Kenya, Baghdad, and you, I don't know how you say that last bottom line.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I don't know, but it's like U Vilanza.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. But dude, those are the new faces that are reaching the podcast that are listening to the podcast. Man, it is super, super crazy, man. And it's all because of you guys, the shares that we have on here is insane. Uh, the streams that we've had, the downloads that we've are getting are crazy, crazy insane. And we cannot do it without you guys, man. So thank you guys so much, man. And and um, you know, I want to thank Shelves for just bringing that extra funk to it, too, as well. And just that extra funk to it, man. Brings that funniness too as well. It's always good to have them on, and then Kessa too as well, and then everybody that does email questions. Um, some of them are funny, some of them are just stupid. Hey, some of them you shouldn't have emailed. Some of them you shouldn't even have emails, you shouldn't even have a waste of time, man, because we're not gonna fucking answer it, man. Uh, like we said, man, if he's cheating, he's cheating. If she's a homie hopper, she's a homie hopper. Get out of that. Go find your happiness. That's it. Find a JC Penny ad. Go find a JC Penny ad, man. But you know, for me, I still love you.
unknownDamn.
SPEAKER_00Oh, man. Yeah, find a JC Penny ad, man. Or you know, JC Penney ad for the for the ladies, um, uh for the guys, uh, Kmart ad for the ladies. And for the for the guys that like that extra, you know, look for a Sears, man. Sears. Oh, dude. Well, man, man, but thank you guys so much. As always, man, you guys are in the favor of the creator. We love each and every one of you guys. Ladies, don't forget to smile. Your smile is so contagious. Man, don't forget that you guys are handsome, way beyond you give yourself credit for. Um, other than that, man, thank you guys so much, Els. You got any words of wisdom, shout-outs, or any other news you got, bro?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, bro. Uh, listen to uh Heartbreaks and um acoustics. Yeah, go check out uh Superman Res Love. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go check that out.
SPEAKER_00And um, yeah, more stuff to come along with stuff to come up. And don't forget to don't forget to be on the lookout for um uh reservation made shells featuring Q L A Q L A. And if you guys happen to be at Gathering of Nations, please be careful. And you guys, it's just too much craziness is going on in Albuquerque right now. There's some shootings, some stabbings last week. So if you guys happen to be out there, please, please, please be careful. Or if you guys are traveling anywhere else, please be careful. Uh, we love each and every one of you guys. And man, like we say, as always, as always, if you guys didn't hear around the campfire, then it probably isn't true. She